Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Negative, Negative, Negative

Pregnancy tests get expensive month after month, so do ovulation predictor tests.

It’s especially hard to get a negative test result when you’ve done everything possible to ensure conception that month. You’ve counted the days, took the predictor tests, recorded your basal body temperature every morning, etc. The worst times were Mother’s Days, Father’s Days, birthdays, holidays…anytime I knew we would be with groups of family and friends in situations where it would have been perfect to tell everyone that I was pregnant.

Last February I went to a fertility doctor who saw two eggs in my right ovary through an ultrasound. Emmie & Addie! That month we did everything we knew to make this the month!

I counted that I should expect my period a couple of days before Andy’s birthday. I sat down and made a list of things he liked and things I wanted to give him for his birthday and I realized that many of them started with the letter “B”, so I went with the theme “B if for Birthday.” I was going to start out the day with a birthday banner, balloons, and breakfast in bed. Then, before he was off to school I would give him books and a bonus (a subscription to his favorite magazine). I would then decorate the inside of the trunk of his car and send him an e-mail at work telling him to go out and look inside where he would find a basketball and ball cap. Then, after we went out to his favorite restaurant we would come home for brownies and berries. And, finally I would reveal the grand prize to him…a BABY!

His birthday came, so did my period.

My friend found out she was pregnant again. They were in a tight place and didn’t have enough money for maternity clothes. After I talked myself into it and shed a few tears, I gave her mine. Another friend found out she was pregnant (surprise!) and didn’t have any reading materials. I gave her mine. I didn’t need them after all and she did.

By the way, it’s not a good idea to watch “A Baby Story” when you’re going through this. It only makes you angry.

Next Post: 3/22/07


Denise said...

Oooh yeah, A Baby Story sucks. If ever I need to cry and just can't get it out, I'll watch that show.

Susan said...

Hi Michelle,
I am a friend of Mrs. Hardings. My husband and I have been trying for 4 years now. I am 30 he is 36, we are beginning the adoption process now. I have been through everything you have. Don't get down on yourself, I know it is hard.

Rachel said...

Don't worry, I'm pretty sure I will never watch "A Baby Story", sounds creepy...and about babies...so that's pretty much enough to keep me away.