Monday, February 11, 2008


In preparation for baby, I have been doing a lot of research on parenting techniques.  I’m reading all about attachment parenting, demand feeding, hyper scheduling, the Baby Wise way, etc.  I like to compare the different schools of thought, realizing that I won’t know what will work best until I meet my baby. 

I walked into the YMCA with “Baby Wise” under my arm.  I intentionally put the cover page close to my body so no one passing by me could see it.  When I climbed onto the elliptical I placed the book face down, again so no one could see it.  I started pedaling, folding the book back, cover touching cover. 

After about 20 minutes, the lady on the machine next to me said, “I’m impressed that you’re able to read and pedal at the same time!”  Then she asked the dreaded question, “What are you reading?”

“Baby Wise,” I said.  She looked at my stomach and said, “But, you’re not pregnant.”

I laughed, “No, I’m not.  But, my husband and I are adopting.”

A great conversation on parenting ensued.  In the end I was glad she asked.  I would rather someone ask than for people to wonder and make up their own stories in their heads.

Even though people who know us don’t think it’s weird, I can’t help but feel a little like an alien around people who don’t.  I’m having baby showers, reading baby books, buying baby things…but no big belly and no due date.  It doesn’t make me sad.  In fact, I haven’t been sad over not being able to get pregnant one time since we started the adoption process.  But, I find myself sneaking around in public when there’s baby stuff involved.

Just before our baby shower at the church, one of the guys in our worship band did the greatest thing.  He walked up to me, patted my belly and said, “Girl, you’re about to pop!”  That made my day!  It made me feel so “normal!”   I’ve laughed every time I’ve thought about it since.  I hope that everyone around us will feel that comfortable and not feel like they have to tiptoe around the issue.  It helps us not feel so weird.

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