Sunday, August 05, 2007
"Get In My Belly!"
Guatemala...ahhh. Our time in Guatemala was...I don't even have the vocabulary to explain my feelings. It was more than we could have ever hoped for or expected. We stayed in Chichicastenango, but we worked in the rural areas outside the city. According to Ron, the founder and director of Manos de Jesus (Hands of Jesus), it is the second poorest area in the Western Hemisphere. But, you would never know it by the kids’ smiles. These kids played and laughed in a language that we could all understand. Some of them struck me in such a way that all I could think was “get in my belly.” (That’s a line from Austin Powers, for those of you who are like, “What?” For those of you who’ve seen it, say it with a strong Scottish accent for better effect.) ☺
I’ve wrestled with a lot of things as a result of this trip, but I’ll only talk about the ones that have affected us regarding adoption. One night during our stay in the House of Prayer, the compound for Manos de Jesus, Ron gave his testimony. Throughout his life he’s been in positions where he didn’t have money for something he felt called to do. But without fail, just when he needed it, God provided. I’ve heard so many stories about people who “stepped out on faith” to do something God had “called” them to do, and in a miraculous way, He provided.
For the past several weeks I’ve been weary, feeling like we’re ready to adopt but can’t because we don’t have all the money it’s going to take saved yet; so close yet so far away. It’s been depressing, actually. But, Sunday was the hardest day I’ve had in…years, maybe.
A new team was coming to stay at the House of Prayer Saturday, but we weren’t flying out until Sunday. So, we HAD to stay at the Marriott in Guatemala City. Stinks to be us, right? ☺ It was extravagant. But, that’s not what struck me most. It appears that the Marriott is the hub for “gringos” (white people) adopting Guatemalan babies. They even have a Baby Lounge. Everywhere you turned there were gringos smiling dreamily as they fed their Guatemalan babies that had just joined their family that day or the day before. Some of them were even video taping their new baby/child eating. It was beautiful, and yet my stomach churned at the sight of it. I have been waiting five years to feel like that.
Sunday morning I was particularly emotional. Not only were we leaving Guatemala where so many great things happened, but also the feeling that adoption is so far away was right there in my face. I was so emotional I couldn’t even finish my breakfast! If you know me, you know that’s VERY unusual considering how much I LOVE to eat! Then…oh boy, here it comes…then we had a worship service. We met by the pool (where all the gringos were playing with the new babies). The message was about Zachariah and Elizabeth (Luke 1) who were barren. Need I say more? Just go read it. You’ll see. Immediately, Andy put his bible down and hugged me. I put my bible in front of my face and the tears started rolling. My insides were shaking. Out of the sides of my eyes I could see others who knew of our situation who were crying too. They lined up for hugs afterwards.
I went to our room and sobbed for a while. It felt better to get it out. At that moment Andy said, “I don’t care about the money anymore. It’s time to move forward.”
Since we’ve been home I’ve been looking into grants. All of them say you can’t apply until you have completed your home study. Andy called a social worker before we left to get one started, but we haven’t heard back from her, so we’re going to call another one soon. I guess we’re just realizing that we’re not going to have all the money saved before we begin this process and that’s OK. We don’t know how God’s going to provide, but we feel we’re called to this, so we’re going to step out on faith and trust that He will. It should be fun to watch and see how God provides. This way He can have all the glory since everyone will know that we’re not the ones who made this happen! That’s good stuff!