Sunday, August 05, 2007

"Get In My Belly!"





Guatemala...ahhh. Our time in Guatemala was...I don't even have the vocabulary to explain my feelings. It was more than we could have ever hoped for or expected. We stayed in Chichicastenango, but we worked in the rural areas outside the city. According to Ron, the founder and director of Manos de Jesus (Hands of Jesus), it is the second poorest area in the Western Hemisphere. But, you would never know it by the kids’ smiles. These kids played and laughed in a language that we could all understand. Some of them struck me in such a way that all I could think was “get in my belly.” (That’s a line from Austin Powers, for those of you who are like, “What?” For those of you who’ve seen it, say it with a strong Scottish accent for better effect.) ☺

I’ve wrestled with a lot of things as a result of this trip, but I’ll only talk about the ones that have affected us regarding adoption. One night during our stay in the House of Prayer, the compound for Manos de Jesus, Ron gave his testimony. Throughout his life he’s been in positions where he didn’t have money for something he felt called to do. But without fail, just when he needed it, God provided. I’ve heard so many stories about people who “stepped out on faith” to do something God had “called” them to do, and in a miraculous way, He provided.

For the past several weeks I’ve been weary, feeling like we’re ready to adopt but can’t because we don’t have all the money it’s going to take saved yet; so close yet so far away. It’s been depressing, actually. But, Sunday was the hardest day I’ve had in…years, maybe.

A new team was coming to stay at the House of Prayer Saturday, but we weren’t flying out until Sunday. So, we HAD to stay at the Marriott in Guatemala City. Stinks to be us, right? ☺ It was extravagant. But, that’s not what struck me most. It appears that the Marriott is the hub for “gringos” (white people) adopting Guatemalan babies. They even have a Baby Lounge. Everywhere you turned there were gringos smiling dreamily as they fed their Guatemalan babies that had just joined their family that day or the day before. Some of them were even video taping their new baby/child eating. It was beautiful, and yet my stomach churned at the sight of it. I have been waiting five years to feel like that.

Sunday morning I was particularly emotional. Not only were we leaving Guatemala where so many great things happened, but also the feeling that adoption is so far away was right there in my face. I was so emotional I couldn’t even finish my breakfast! If you know me, you know that’s VERY unusual considering how much I LOVE to eat! Then…oh boy, here it comes…then we had a worship service. We met by the pool (where all the gringos were playing with the new babies). The message was about Zachariah and Elizabeth (Luke 1) who were barren. Need I say more? Just go read it. You’ll see. Immediately, Andy put his bible down and hugged me. I put my bible in front of my face and the tears started rolling. My insides were shaking. Out of the sides of my eyes I could see others who knew of our situation who were crying too. They lined up for hugs afterwards.

I went to our room and sobbed for a while. It felt better to get it out. At that moment Andy said, “I don’t care about the money anymore. It’s time to move forward.”

Since we’ve been home I’ve been looking into grants. All of them say you can’t apply until you have completed your home study. Andy called a social worker before we left to get one started, but we haven’t heard back from her, so we’re going to call another one soon. I guess we’re just realizing that we’re not going to have all the money saved before we begin this process and that’s OK. We don’t know how God’s going to provide, but we feel we’re called to this, so we’re going to step out on faith and trust that He will. It should be fun to watch and see how God provides. This way He can have all the glory since everyone will know that we’re not the ones who made this happen! That’s good stuff!


12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Michelle-

Your words bring tears to my eyes. And seeing your beautiful smile with all of those children- WOW! I am glad to hear that you are going forward with the adoption process. Money shouldn't hold you back- after all, if people waited until they could afford children then no one would have any, naturally or otherwise. God will provide. I can't think of another couple more deserving of his blessings. Thank you again for sharing this journey with all of us. I truly look forward to where it will lead you!

Laura Belcher

Anonymous said...

He's a Mighty God! I got chills just reading your entry and thinking about how great He is! The pictures of you guys with the children are perfect. My prayers are with you as you move forward in this adventure God has called for you.

Emily Fiore :)

Anonymous said...

WOW!!! I'm totally at a loss for words. I Love You Guys so very much...that's all. I have chills from my head to the bottom of my feet. I can't see what I'm writing.
Talk To Ya Soon.

Emilee said...

The one from 4:40...is me, Emilee, sorry. I told you I'm at a loss.

Anonymous said...

Andy & Michelle,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. This Blog helps me to feel close to you and helps me to know what to pray. I wish I could hug you now!!
Love you,
Heather Shelton

Anonymous said...

You are both incredible. Thank you so much for sharing something so personal. I PROMISE you that the Lord will provide for His precious children... Niles and I have been so blessed recently and Turner's not even here yet. I can't wait to see what happens next for you both...
Love you guys!
Maria and Niles

Anonymous said...

Hey guys, This came to mind for you guys. That there is no fear in love for perfect love drives out all fear. That when we delight in the Lord... well you know the rest (think Psalm 34). I was listening to a sermon by John Piper today and one thing he said about the existence of humanity stood out to me. Our is existance is an overflow of God's glory manifested in our creation and joy through Christ. I can see, in turn, that in yours and Andy's union that your joy and the blessings you have recieved will be well served to glorify God by overflowing onto your children. Fear not, take hope as we feel the Spirit move amongst his Church to fulfill his promises.

Niles

David M. Staples said...

Go for it, guys. I can honestly say that we have not been able to "afford" anything God has called us to do. Three kids, Heather's school, Med School, Defender. But when you know it is right, you have to move. We can't wait to see our neice/nephew.

Anonymous said...

You are amazing...because you are sharing your thoughts and fears and ups and downs and strengths and weaknesses. I feel like I'm learning with you...I can relate to this on other levels...I am just so blessed, and I will share this with a specific family I know. I KNOW without a doubt that this will be a great resource and comfort.

I love you.
Carrie C.

Anonymous said...

You two bless my life beyond measure. I don't have the right words to express to you what an impact you've had on my life. I am SO excited to watch what God does through all of this. It is going to be AMAZING and He will get all of the glory and praise!!
Love you so much, Jeni (Andrew & Daniel) xoxo

Anonymous said...

Hey Guys its Dotti. My eyes are blurry so bare with me. For starters you guys have blessed so many lives and I want to thank you personally. If the power was mine I'd personally give you the baby that you truly deserve. I came close to giving up on Christ and life in general but Eternal has helped me find my way back. I owe alot of it to Andy and his wisdom. But enough about me.... I have set aside a special prayer time just for this cause and today I started a special craft project for you and your new arrival. Thank you for sharing this with us and God will provide....BLESS You both...Love and Prayers Dotti

Rachel said...

Cute Pictures.
-Rachel